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“never had a number in mind…”

Nickname/ name: Not given

How old are you?   41

What’s your relationship status?    partnered

How many women do you think you’ve slept with?    maybe 10

Is your aim to sleep with as many women as you can or what are you’re looking for in relationships?   

never had a number in mind… just looking to enjoy life without regrets while treating others as i like to be treated

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?  

i don’t… i am not trying to prevent anything

What’s your opinion on cuddling? love it

How do you seduce women?   i am just trying to be myself… no special tricks.

What do you wish women knew about men that they don’t necessarily?

this is actually a pretty vague question… i don’t generally get into the stereotype game and i think that for every woman who knows nothing about men there is a woman who knows everything… and vice versa

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way? 

i don’t honestly think that the ‘age of political correctness’ has any impact on how i behave around women. i try to act with respect and honesty around people and have never felt like it created an issue. if i have ever said or done something that someone didn’t take in the spirit that i offered it then i just assumed that we probably weren’t the best match for whatever reason. i think that if i honestly complimented someone and they were offended then that is a pretty good indication to me that they might have a screw loose somewhere and i have no interest in crazy high maintenance people. but, again, never had an issue.

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts? 

kind of a silly thing to say really… i have never personally been involved with any partners that could be considered ‘obese’ but i have friends who prefer that type of girl and they have great relationships. no judging as far as i can tell amongst my group of friends. ‘fat’ is a pretty subjective term and while i think it is important for everyone to try to have healthy lifestyles so that more of life can be enjoyed, i think it would be crazy to worry about what my friends thought if i were in a relationship with a girl i was attracted to.  i guess in a more general sense, since ‘fat’ is such general term, i think that if you are worried about what your friends/family might think about your partners then you probably have the wrong partner or the wrong friends…

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” not every guy is into you, and if you want a relationship, don’t give up the cookie so quick”

I strive for having intense and intimate relationships and I’m fully aware that one can not achieve that in a one night stand. Also i have gotten to know myself and one night stands are not sexually satisfying as they are exciting for the pure rush and curiosity. So having said all that, this is how i approach the situation, it is my belief that a man proposes and the woman chooses, so seduction it is usually about the message. What is she looking for? and how is she telling me this and how am i going to meet her wants and needs. Example if a woman is looking for that power, financial type guy who works on Bay st, because she thinks they are  the alpha male, then she will get seduced by those guys all the time and those guys know it.

So onto the questions:

How old are you? 43

What’s your relationship status? Single

How many women do you think you’ve slept with? 20-25 most of them not one night stands… maybe 5 one night stands

Do you have a pick-up technique? What’s your deal?

Well, what I do is read the situation, and be honest. What this means is, if I’m into the girl a lot and i feel a connection I will lay down a path for her to make her move, once that is done then i tell them how i feel about them and just proceed. Again the point, specially now it is not to have a one night stand.

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?

If I don’t like the girl, then it won’t happen. But if I like them, then most likely it will happen unless things are complicated, in that case i will just stop. Also try avoiding things like movies, eating out, and sleeping over.

 What’s your opinion on cuddling?

hmm…do it with the one you care about.

How do you seduce women?

They have to want it, then usually by kissing…

What do you wish women knew that they don’t, about men? 

Your idea of alpha males is way off… not every guy is into you, and if you want a relationship, don’t give up the cookie so quick

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way?

This (Toronto) is not a city that knows how to interact socially let alone flirt, so yes! Lack of friendliness, self value and self respect are 2 very different things

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts?

All subjective…i like curvy and to some guys they would call them fat, and i couldn’t careless, now fat woman in my books, if she wants it, it depends how i read the situation, if i feel they’re looking for a relationship and I don’t want it, then I won’t do it. If they just want to have sex only then it depends how attracted I am. If they are too big for me I won’t do it. If I think they are more than doable then for sure…but can only do it for a for times before the get attached.

Anything else you’d like to share?

I like intense and passionate sex, kinky to a lower level compared to the “kinky” lifestyle type. Because of what I enjoy I cannot have this type of relations without a relationship i do not pursue one night stands

“Younger females are insecure.”

Nickname/ name: Mike

How old are you? 29

What’s your relationship status? Seeing two people

How many women do you think you’ve slept with?

Not sure but more than a 100

Is your aim to sleep with as many women as you can or what are you’re looking for in relationships?

Yea I don’t care to be tied down I’ve got my whole life ahead of me so I’m just sowing my wild oats. The two girls I’m seeing are seeing other people so it’s all good.

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?

Can’t do anything to prevent it but it hasn’t happened yet

What’s your opinion on cuddling?

Not a fan but I’ll do it if she’s realy into it

How do you seduce women?

I ask them for their phone number. I ask them out right away if it’s on OKCupid or Craigslist. No point in wasting time.

Do you neg? If yes, why? Does it work for you?

Sure, sometimes. Because it works and it works for me. Younger females are insecure.

What do you wish women knew about men that they don’t necessarily?

That we can see through your game when you say you don’t want a relationship you really do. Also that we will sometimes lie to get in your pants sorry.

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way?

I try to be respectful and no one’s ever complained about me

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts?

Bahaha

Anything else?

Yes there’s a whole category of females out there called psycho who don’t respect your boundaries especially exes. It’s unbecoming. If I’m not texting you back that doesn’t mean I didn’t get your text, I just don’t care to reply sorry. For the record this is not just females, I haer from female friends guys are like that too.

I got schooled (nice guy!)

How many women have you slept with?

in my life?

Yes.

15 I think

And how do you seduce women?

I don’t think I seduce women. I honestly think I’m just myself

Are you single?

and I like giving affection

Yes I’m recently separated from a marriage

So you’re in a dating paradise now? Or is it hell?

well I’ve been “seeing” someone that I really liked but we were both just ending something so it didn’t really work

Why did you want to talk to me about this anyway? (not being confrontational)

I’ve never felt so compliemented for having had no contact with someone

ha

because I’m an academic at heart and understand the intrigue at pursuing an idea

not that I know the idea that you’re pursuign yet

Okay. So tell me what is one (or two or three) things that you wish women knew about men that you think they don’t

  1. We are more emotional than we are perceived
  2. We like honesty about sex…that women love sex too3. We like to be taken care of as much as we like taking care of women

Would it make it easier to hook up if both sides were honest right away about what they’re after (#2)

  1. Sexy lingeerie and bikinis are always sexy

Have you met any women who were only after sex?

Have you slept with anyone just because the opportunity presented itself but you weren’t really that interested in pursuing a relationship?

yes…I think honesty up front is useful but I haven’t met any person, man or woman, who doesn’t get confused about emotions. it’s one thing to say that one is only into sex, but if it’s great sex, and intimate, then emotions come into play. I don’t think it’s possible to really separate the two. But then again, I’ve rarely had sex with someone that I didn’t connect with otherwise

Rarely. So it has happened?

I had an ongoing relationship with a woman just for sex..but we ended up talking about emotions soon enough

You didn’t like that?

Ive had only 1 one night stand

no I liked the emotional talk

I had a one night stand with a different person

the one night stand was just bad sex

she wasn’t able to relax

Okay, so back to the nsa. Did it end because emotions got to be too much?

yeah so the NSA ….that as ongoing…yeah it ended because she assumed because the sex was intimate, that we were an intimate couple

but at the same time she told me she wanted just sexbut she then admitted she had actually wanted a relationship…sorry if that’s confusingI could have described it better

Did you want a relationship with her?

no I didn’t…

Why not?

I saw that she was not really stable

What do you mean by that?

What about her physical attributes?(Can I be a cunt for the sake of challenging you here?)

she was very judgemental, not warm, and quite inflexible

and her past told me that she wasn’t very affectionate either in terms of her physically appearance, she was sex and beautiful…and she was super smartsexy and she fucked like crazy but in terms of a relatioship…no thanks

What does that mean?”fucked like crazy”?

she loved sex…anytime

loved talking about it, fantasizing, many times per dayand got really into it

Ok. So who ended it?

I did

Because she was unstable.

You didn’t want to “fix” her?

no

it’s wasn’t a pathology..just her personlality

Despite the fact that she was smart?

yeah she was smart

Smart, hot and likes sex… not good enough (cunt question ☺ )

what does that have to do with it?

not enough for a relationship no

Perhaps I’m projecting. Sorry.

yeah sounds like it…you sound judgmental

I do? I don’t mean to be. Apologies.

This is challenging for me too, for the record.

you’re clearly aware of it since you’re describing them as cunt questions

but you’re prone to offend?

For sure.

Obviously

so what, you don’t like men who date?

I do

Or I should say, I’m detached from it

you’re detached from dating?

This isn’t about me

yeah that’s ideal

I haven’t actually “dated” since my marriage ended

I’m detached from my subject. The subject is to have an honest conversation about dating.

I hate the idea

The dating idea?

I don’t want to be dating yeah

Why not?

I’d rather be in a relationship and monogamous and happy. I was deeply in love with my wife

So is OKCupid working out at all?

I like monogamy because i think there’s something special between two people who share everything and are a team, I only joined OKCupid last week

Don’t you get bored with monogamy?

I never was bored with monogamy while I had it

Have you ever met anyone from OKC?

No I haven’t met anyone yet

Have you heard of negging?And if yes, what do you think of it?

I don’t know what negging is…what is it?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=neg

OK..I wouldn’t know how to use this strategy

You’re a nice guy

Yep, I think so anyway

“It seems like I’m probably not the target guy you’re looking for, but you’re cute and a writer so why not.”

Nickname/ name: Sam

How old are you? 34

What’s your relationship status? Married

How many women do you think you’ve slept with? 10 (6 from CL)

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?

It may seem weird, but I’m already in love with my wife. I don’t really worry about falling in love with someone else. There’s a vast chasm between lust and love. I’ve definitely fallen in lust with some of the women I’ve been with, but never love.

What’s your opinion on cuddling? It’s great. I’m into it.

How do you seduce women?

I listen. I ask them what they think about things. I try to find areas of common interest between us to have a conversation about. In short, I treat them like they’re people and not a public sex-hole that needs to be gamed.

Do you neg? If yes, why? Does it work for you? 

The whole concept is completely ridiculous. Of course I don’t.

What do you wish women knew that they don’t, about men?

I think women know *exactly* what they need to know about men.

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way?

I don’t worry about any of these things because I don’t come into a situation with some kind of creepy ulterior motive. I’m decidedly *not* a pick-up artist–which is what these questions seem to have been generated in response to. I use CL because you can find someone who is like-minded about the experience that’s desired. A one-night hook-up? A date and then sex situation? A quick fuck in a public bathroom? It’s all discussed and agreed upon before we meet.

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts? Ridiculous. 🙂 Scooters are fun, and any dude who is ashamed of his sex partner because of his friends needs to do some work on his own self esteem.

“I try and look at hooking up etc as a business transaction.”

Nickname/ name: sigs

How old are you? I’m 31

What’s your relationship status? Currently single.

How many women do you think you’ve slept with? 25 give or take the really drunk nights

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?

I try and look at hooking up etc as a business transaction. I we both have a service to offer.

What’s your opinion on cuddling?

Honestly even if it is a hook up cuddling is nice. Sex is sex but everyone wants a little intimacy

How do you seduce women?

I’m confident, a little bit of an ass and honest. To the point. No need to waste time.

Do you neg? If yes, why? Does it work for you?

I don’t know what msg is lol

What do you wish women knew that they don’t, about men?

That we really are very simple creatures. Women tend to over think what guys are thinking.

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way?

Not at all. A compliment shouldn’t be creepy. If I’m unsure how it will go over I play the shy card.

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts?  

 Hey if you’re into larger women more empower to you and them. Not my thing.

“It’s the 30somethings that cause trouble so I stay away because invariably there will be some kind of a relationship talk.”

Nickname/ name: Paul

How old are you? 47

What’s your relationship status? Seeing someone

How many women do you think you’ve slept with? 200+

Is your aim to sleep with as many women as you can or what are you’re looking for in relationships? What’s your deal?

When I was younger that would be something I would have the energy for but nowadays it’s all about finding deeper connections. I have no problem attracting younger women and younger women are pretty open about their sexuality. I find with the younger ones  there’s not a lot of expectation anyway. Not a lot of drama. It’s the 30somethings that cause trouble so I stay away because invariably there will be some kind of a relationship talk. I think it has to do with the biological clock ticking and women in their 30s want more out of relationships than an occasional fuck and dinner. I try not to sleep with 30somethings so that’s my deal.

What do you do to “prevent” from falling in love?

I don’t get attached easily. I was married for 8 years and I discovered I wasn’t very good at being in a relationship so while I have a lot of affection for women I date, I don’t fall for them.

What’s your opinion on cuddling?

Love it with the right person. The worst is when you don’t particularly like the girl and she asks you to stay over. I’ve stayed over far too many times because I didn’t want to seem like a dick.

How do you seduce women?

Eye contact and confidence. I also try to make them laugh. I try to notice some detail about her and then I compliment her on it. When I was younger I would go up to women I found attractive and ask them for their phone numbers just right off of the bat. It never failed.

Do you neg? If yes, why? Does it work for you?

No. Maybe when I was younger but it’s stupid and amateur to rely on that.

What do you wish women knew about men that they don’t necessarily?

That we pretty much want to sleep with all of you regardless of age, size, and relationship status.

In this age of political correctness what is one (or two or ten) thing(s) that you find challenging? For example, do you worry about hitting on women might be perceived as sexual harassment? Do you worry about complimenting women in case it gets taken the wrong way?

I’ve never had that experience where a woman gets offended because I compliment her or complains to my boss. I have a friend who’s a teacher and he tells me it’s a little different where he works and he has to be diligent not to ever send the wrong message or appear like he’s flirting.

“Scooters are like fat girls, great fun to ride until your friends find out.” Thoughts?

I like all kinds of women, small, tall, bigger. wo I have no problem being seen with anyone in public. That saying is vile.

Excerpt

One year ago

As usual the beach is full of Fours and Fives. Their eyes flick over my face, flick away. Flick back, again. I love them for it, but the nerve. It’s the media, the music videos. Every wannabe Britney Spears thinks she’s Britney Spears. (Though if you were to stick the actual Britney Spears on this beach? And no handlers? After a few hours she’d be as sunburnt and her thighs would be as chaffed as every other girl’s here. Unhandled, she’d be burping up yellow. Cheetos. Fuck the cameras. Film away. Burp. She’d go down from Seven to a Four just like that.)

A Four walks by, looks up from her phone. Small lips, big nose. Small breasts but a belly.

“Hey,” I say. I’m feeling generous. Bored. And it’s a lovely evening.

“Hey?” she says.

“Great dress,” I say. “It looks really good on you.”

“Oh, thanks,” she looks down at the dress. She blushes. It’s a simple one: on you. As if I’ve seen her in other dresses. As if I was familiar. She will now hope I was familiar. Me being familiar alleviates the suspicion. Why would I be talking to her? On you. Eyes big and hopeful. The dress is roomy, like a tent. It’s a dress that hides things, thighs. The dress is pale pink.

I don’t ask for her number. I won’t ask for her number. I’m suddenly tired. Not tired. Want to keep on moving. I smile and say, “Have a good night, gorgeous.”

Her mouth opens. But then she must understand. No? I’m not a Four.

“May I pet your dog?” she says. “Please?”

“Sure,” I say. I do admire nerve. She thinks she’s a Seven at least.

She bends down to pet the dog. A wave of spasm zaps through the dog’s back. Pleasure. I look at her back with purple stains of old acne.

“Our neighbour had a—“

Dog like that or something. I look over to the boardwalk. The boardwalk shops is a chaos of hue. It’s a landfill of flip flops and inflatable seahorses. And plastic sunglasses and plastic pails. And dripping ice cream and sticky fingers of children. The fingers that like to reach for the dog, like, the Four, here.

I snap the leash, the dog’s head snaps. “Have a nice day,” I say.

She says—

I walk toward the edge of the water. The sun is behind us. The sun gives the Ocean an orange tint. The sand is white during the day. Now it’s deep yellow. Later, brown. Everything looks very nice. Everyone takes a picture with their phone.

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