How old are you?

45 but fortunate to look quite a bit younger…besides women are both more catholic in what attracts them.

How many women have you been with?

The subset of women I’ve had sex with because of the internet…somewhere between 30-50 I’d guess. Lots of drinks and blowjobs and other variations that didn’t lead to sex.

How do you usually meet women?

In the real world of New York. Bars, physical therapy offices, conferences (if I’m a speaker it’s especially easy)

Do you have a (pick up) technique?

I wouldn’t say so. I’m not usually one to walk up and start a conversation, in part because that’s unseemly for a married man, in part because at heart I’m shy. But once a conversation starts, I’m articulate and funny so it’s not hard to keep talking.

Why do you think women like you / your technique?

At first because I’m good looking, then because I’m funny and (I know this sounds absurd) because I’m an otherwise good man with this Achilles heel with sex (and by sex I’m including everything from flirtation to seduction to the wild pornographic stuff)

Would you sleep with someone you were embarrassed to be seen with in public (if yes/ no, why?)

Never. Well, once in Colorado in the 90s under extenuating circumstances. Sadly, I’m looking for some kind of validation in sex so I have to feel good about them…that they’re not drunk or desperate or broken.

What would you like women to know about male mind? (What do women get wrong about men?)

Hell, I’m not sure that I can add to the infinite dialog on this. Perhaps this. Speaking in general (and I really mean in general…I know enough exceptions in life to know that it’s not 90%/10%…it’s more like 65/35)…men start where women end, and vice versa. Women often put the man they’re with into a template of “how can I care about him…why do I care…what’s the potential) even if the setting is short term. As they get answers to those questions they’re more sexually attracted and open. Men start with sex, the dirtier the better, and move toward more emotional terrain. It’s especially ironic since in long term relationships men stop wanting the hot, dirty stuff, the long kisses and courtship level sex…while women are more driven than ever. Again…highly variable.

Is there anything that you’d never admit to in public when it comes to dating? (this is totally anonymous btw.)

Apart from the fact that I do, nothing comes to mind. I’m pretty open. I might not tell someone that I love rough sex the first time I meet them, but there’s not much off limits ; )

Girl of your dreams?

Smart and funny for the long run…comfortable in her own skin…easy going…good at managing the relationship…respectful of my contributions…open enough to recognize that monogamy is unnatural so that either you circumvent it or get creative.

Why “used to”? What changed?

I have a daughter who is the gravity in my universe. But I’m like a “dry drunk” – it’s just a question of when.

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